Talking so people listen, and Listening so people Talk

The ability to communicate with yourself persuasively and others is very important to success in life (career, business, relationships etc). Communicating with yourself means having the ability to live within your values and principles, having experiences that bring you fulfilment and happiness. Most people never think of talking to themselves as being part of a success journey, and that is often the very reason people are unable to achieve what they want to in life.

It would be really nice if we could just talk to people and have them open up, but we don’t and they don’t either. Instead, the process of getting through to people by talking is more reminiscent of the onion. You peel off one layer  after another until you come to the core, the centre. Each layer is attached to the next at one point on the onion. Each layer is separate but attached at one end of the sphere. People have a  number of levels or  layers of experience.  Each layer of experience has its own unique  qualities that demand a specific kind of communication to gain acceptance by the person. Then as acceptance is offered, you can go to the next layer, until you reach the  centre where most people only themselves and many have never  experienced at all. This is the self. This is you, and you’re pretty protective of “you”, aren’t you? Almost everyone is protective of their self, and that is one  reason communication is so difficult at times! Make the effort to communicate with other people on levels and layers, you cannot proceed to each succeeding         layer or level of communication without having established trust and intimacy on  the proceeding level. This single  fact is the cause of the majority of all breakdowns in talking and listening to people. Learn to  meet  people where they are in life, help them to be comfortable and at ease with you, only then will they be able to open up to you.

Talking so people listen is about experiencing something quite extraordinary. Each day we live in this life despite the challenges, setbacks and heartbreaks we encounter in day-to-day life. Throughout all the challenges that life has for us,  we  have the ability to communicate with those around us  to experience happiness. We  can  share our thoughts, ideas, philosophies, and desires. The ability to communicate is really incredibly amazing. It is through our ability to communicate that we are  able to  touch the hearts and  minds around us…and everywhere.

Stop for a moment and take a look at your life. Have you begun to achieve that which you set out to do? Have you begun to make a real difference in the world? Are you happy with what you a accomplished?  Do you have the income and lifestyle you deserve?

It is  up to you to live the life  you chose  to  live or relentless drift of events will make the decision for you. connect with yourself and others, in order to fully experience life we must become very much in touch with our true self and with the true selves of others.

Each communication you participate in is another wonderful opportunity to build up the self esteem of another person.

Have you ever met someone (or many people) with whom you immediately connected? Have you ever said, “He/she is really something. I’d like to get to know him/her”? At some level, you recognized something very charismatic about that person. Sometimes he or she recognized that same something in you, but then over time, or maybe immediately, nothing happened and you went your separate ways. That is because connecting with people is more than just physical attraction, though to be sure that is important and very real. Connecting with people really is when one person sees another and recognizes a kindred spirit. It’s virtually impossible to achieve true greatness as a lover, a teacher, or a salesperson without getting along with other people. In business,  the ability to  get along with others  is something that corporate executives pay a great deal of money for! Today, at the dawn of the millennium, corporations spend billions of dollars a year to enhance communication skills of their employees. No one can get along with everyone, but those who can build rapport with the majority will always be more successful on average than others.

Connecting with people is a naturally given talent that has been made weaker  through negative experiences. Much of what happens to us in our life time hardens the heart and weakens the spirit. Connecting with others has become a little complicated and requires patience and conscious effort to do so. Here is one conscious effort you should make; as you walk through and experience life each day, you will  come in contact with many people. Look at each person you talk with or make eye contact with and allow them freedom to be  whoever they want to be with you. Give them the security of knowing they can be open with you. You will not judge them. Finally, allow them to be interconnected with you and be separate from you. 

How do we accomplish such a monumental task of helping people feel secure, free, and happy? We all are different. Different things seems to make people feel secure, for example; we have so  many different needs, desires, and interests. It’s not easy knowing what will make a person feel more free and at  ease. In fact, we often don’t know what to say when we are in the presence of groups of strangers, so we tend to simply look at the ground and avoid eye contact as we pass by. What specifically do we need to do to generate this love, this happiness, this sense of security with other people? Even when we know people, it is remarkably difficult to talk to them about certain issues and topics that are most important to us.

How do we talk about religion with relatives? How do we  talk politics with our friends? How do we communicate with those we love in an honest way and  STILL keep the relationship intact? It isn’t easy but it can be done. 

To be continued in the next article.


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