Past experiences shape us and the way we communicate.

What happens to you in this life is quite a profound experience. Each of us comes into this world with far more in common than we ultimately will have after a physical lifetime. We certainly are not all the same at birth, but we change for better and worse as life goes on. Much of what happens to us in our lifetimes hardens the heart and weakens the spirit. As we experience the trials and tribulations of life, it often makes us more distanced from those around us. The less than desirable elements of this life experience will often change our personality for better and worse. As the personality changes, each person needs to be communicated with in different ways.

Communication that reminds someone of another person who hurt him or her will result in negative responses. Imagine if you will that a woman knew a man for many years as a friend. The friend always spoke quietly and kindly to the woman. One day the man rapes the woman. The woman may develop a negative pattern of response to men, to men who speak quietly, or even to men who are friends because of this one horrible experience. In each potential case, part of each person acts to protect the whole. People don’t want to be hurt again and therefore create defense mechanisms so another violent act doesn’t occur. Talking quietly and kindly will not be the solution to opening up the hardened case around the soul. It will only repel you further from. Therefore you will have to learn how to communicate to ALL types of people with ALL kinds of experiences, good and bad. What sounds like love is a signal of war for another.

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2 thoughts on “Past experiences shape us and the way we communicate.

  1. Well said. I can relate to this concept from my experiences. Having a defense mechanism against things that were once good is a terrible thing to suffer. We must always challenge our perceptions.

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  2. We all have those responses. The key is to remain objective and be true to our own hearts. Learn form the past and gain the wisdom to love ALWAYS.

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